The Thursday sun burned bright as we drove through the ever-busy streets of Lagos. In the heart of all the movement, we arrived at the home of Mrs. Foluso Agbaje, a writer whose words capture history and humanity. Her home, unlike the city outside, was a place of stillness. There, she shared her journey—her childhood, her inspirations, the beauty of motherhood and the stories that shaped The Parlour Wife.
OBIDA: Where did you grow up?
Foluso Agbaje: I grew up in Lagos, Nigeria, spending most of my formative years in the city until I left for school abroad at sixteen, but Lagos will always be home. My childhood began in Ogudu, which was an amazing place to grow up—warm and full of community. When my family moved to the Island, I was already in boarding school abroad as a teenager. The differences between the mainland and the Island were clear—the mainland had cleaner water and fresher air. Those are the memories that stand out. Living on the mainland felt like home, with a strong sense of community with our neighbours.
OBIDA: Can you share a nostalgic moment from your upbringing that you wish was still present today?
Foluso Agbaje: This memory is about community both outside and within Lagos, with my grandparents. My paternal grandparents lived in Ogun State and my maternal ones in Ojo, within Lagos state. To see my paternal grandparents, we would often drive to Ogere, a small town in Ogun State where they lived, to spend time with them. My grandpa would tell my brother and I old stories and teach us Yoruba songs. The food and atmosphere felt different there—in a good way.
Though I’m recalling this from childhood and may not remember every detail perfectly, I have a vivid memory of visiting my grandpa’s friend, who gave us a ‘reddish chicken’ that tasted unlike anything I had before. Everything about visiting Ogere felt different, sharper, in the best way.
My maternal grandparents had a huge canopy bed with a mosquito net in their house in Ojo, and climbing inside always felt like entering a mythical cave, where we’d listen to my grandma’s stories. My most nostalgic memories are tied to visiting and spending time with both sets of grandparents.
OBIDA: Are there any cultural or societal influences that shaped your early years?
Foluso Agbaje: I grew up in Lagos in the 90s, a time full of paradoxes. I was raised during a military regime that eventually transitioned to democracy. I remember when Abacha passed away. Even as a child, I could sense the fear adults carried during the military era. But when democracy took over, their relief was palpable. I remember watching the handover on the news and the lightness that followed.
The 90s and early 2000s was a time of rapid change in Nigeria. I recall the introduction of mobile phones; the relief of not needing to remember my friends phone numbers anymore. Everything was evolving quickly. By then, Africa had already begun feeling the effects of globalization. Watching music channels like MTV Base and Channel O felt cool, and for me, Lagos felt connected to the rest of the world. It was as if the world had moved into my living room.
OBIDA: Your academic background in Management, HR AND Accounting, how do you end up here, being an amazing author?
Foluso Agbaje: I studied Accounting and Financial management at university. Nigeria is a very commercial-capitalist society and I kept asking myself if I could make a living from writing. so when I was trying to pick a course to study, I was confused. I decided to study Accounting and Financial management because my mum was an Accountant and I wasn’t so bad at maths myself.
While I was studying accounting, I had a course that was HR related and I really liked it. I always wanted to do something that touched people’s lives; something people-centric. I decided to apply for a Masters in Human Resource Management and see how it went. That’s how I started my journey of capturing stories really.
My family background has played a role in my creative journey. Writing was easy for me because of my family influences. Everyone is creative in their own way. My paternal grandfather worked successfully in corporate but also writes stories; I have four of his books on my bookshelf. He also lived in Venice for a few months doing a painting course. My maternal grandmother also wrote stories. So, the idea of being a creative person was not far-fetched. I was not pressured to study a “serious” or corporate course. I put that pressure on myself because I had the view that I had to do a “serious” job to be a “serious” person.
As a creative person, the call to use your creativity feels like an insatiable hunger that just keeps growing until you respond to it. I went online and applied for the Faber Academy Writing a Novel course. The course was for advanced writers but I submitted my application anyway. They got back to me that I was selected; they selected only eleven of us. So, I started the course which I juggled with my job in finance. I remember at the end of six months, my tutor said I had something special; we were working on the first draft of The Parlour Wife through the course and he said he believed I could get it published. That was the push I needed. It was not just my friends and family telling me I wrote exceptionally. It was people I didn’t know telling me I had something special as well.
OBIDA: What inspired “The Parlour Wife”?
Foluso Agbaje: I really enjoy reading and watching historical fiction, but I realized I did not know anything about Nigeria during the second world war. During that time, everyone left the independence debate to focus on fighting against the common enemy which was Hitler. From the research I did, there were propaganda posters of the war everywhere in Nigeria. There was a rhetoric about Hitler being evil and how we all needed to come together to fight against him. I thought this was interesting; that it should be of importance to us, not just in Nigeria, but across Africa.
I really wanted to go back to that time, the early days in Nigeria when we were a colony of the British Empire and how that event would have shaped and impacted us, especially in such a momentous part of history. My grandparents were children during the second world war and would tell me tales about joining ration queues.
Also, I was inspired to write about the expectations placed on women by society at that time and how those expectations still exist now. As a woman, if you do not get married or have children, people will question your success. I really want us to talk more about this pressure as a community. I wanted to highlight the reality of that still prevalent pressure in The Parlour Wife. Not every woman wants to get married or have children and that’s okay. As a society, we need to recognize that every woman should be in control of her destiny.
OBIDA: You once described London and Lagos as cities that captured your heart. What impact have these cities played on your stories?
Foluso Abgaje: Both cities have had a huge impact on me. Lagos has always been home. I grew up in Lagos and have more family members here than any part of the world. London is my coming-of-age city; I found myself there. I experienced a lot of emotions in London – I worked there for a year between my third and final year in university, I started dating my husband there and I lost one of my best friends too. London is very vibrant in my mind, full of love and loss.
OBIDA: What is special about motherhood?
Foluso Agbaje: Motherhood is such a beautiful gift; someone’s potential is in your hands. It’s like planting a seed, nurturing it, watching it grow every day. You invest so much care, so much attention, and then you get to witness the lessons you’ve taught your kids come to life. Just the other day, my daughter had a friend over, and at dinner, she told her friend to eat her vegetables first for better digestion. I was so proud because I tell my children this every day, and it seemed like they never listened. But seeing it play out in that moment, I realized the effort was worth it. That feeling of pride is so rewarding. Like being a gardener and watching your plants thrive. That’s how special motherhood truly is.
OBIDA: Has it changed you in anyway? If so, how?
Foluso Agbaje: Motherhood has truly transformed me. It’s made me more selfless in ways I didn’t expect. In today’s world, where everything revolves around ‘me,’ it’s easy to forget the value of community. While self-care is important, I feel there’s a lost art of nurturing others. Being a mother has reminded me that we’re here to serve. It’s pushed me to think beyond myself and focus more on humanity as a whole.
OBIDA: What is it like being a mother in Lagos City?
Foluso Agbaje: Raising my kids in Lagos has been great. The community here - parents, grandparents, friends, and family - are always eager to have my children around, and I honestly wouldn’t be able to do half of what I do without their support. In London, it’s a different story; the culture there just isn’t the same. Lagos has this beautiful sense of community, something that I never really experienced inLondon. Though growing up in Lagos is quite different now, there’s still a deep sense of togetherness that makes it feel like home.
OBIDA: Do you have a goal, an impact you would like to have on your kids?
Foluso Agbaje: I want them to believe they can do anything, that their dreams are limitless. I want to be their biggest champion, encouraging them to dream big without fear. But more than that, I don’t want them to carry the weight of pressure like I did—I want them to chase their dreams with joy.
OBIDA: You radiate an incredible confident and positive energy; can you tell us how you center yourself?
Foluso Agbaje: My aura is deeply rooted in my faith. I believe what many call intuition is the voice of the Holy Spirit, and over the years, I’ve learned never to ignore it. If I feel a nudge to call or text someone, I do it immediately. Some days, I wake up with anxiety, but I know that once I pray, I’ll hear from God.
My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 3:5-6: ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.’ Even when I don’t understand everything, I hold on to this promise, trusting it’s all part of God’s bigger plan for me.
OBIDA: Do you see a connection between storytelling and fashion?
Foluso Agbaje: Definitely. Fashion is a form of storytelling. The way I see someone emotional and want to capture that in a story is the same way you see people emotional and get inspired to design an outfit. Fashion is another way of telling stories. Unlike a book you want to read, fashion is instant. It is the fastest form of storytelling.
OBIDA: How would you describe your personal style, and does fashion play a role in your self-expression?
Foluso Agbaje: All my life, I thought I didn’t care about fashion. But now, I’m realizing I do. When planning my book launch, one of the first things I thought about was what to wear to express myself. If fashion didn’t matter to me, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
For every book event, I’ve chosen to wear Nigerian designs. It’s more than just clothing; it’s a way to share and promote African fashion. I don’t just tell stories—I wear them.
OBIDA: What do you love about OBIDA, and how does the brand align with your style?
Foluso Agbaje: I first heard about Obida (the man) in 2017 from my aunt when I returned to Nigeria from London. She showed me pictures of his label then (GREY), and I was immediately drawn to the colors. They were fresh, vibrant but never garish. The outfits seemed to call to you.
OBIDA tells a story through art and fashion. Each piece speaks in a way that is both subtle and striking. In writing, we’re taught to 'show, don’t tell,' and OBIDA does just that. It presents a fresh perspective on Nigerian life, bridging a gap in fashion and creating a brand you want to be part of.
OBIDA: What is next for Foluso Agbaje?
Foluso Agbaje: My next book is coming out next year. It is not historical fiction like “The Parlour Wife”. It’s a contemporary fiction set in Lagos, Nigeria even though some characters are from London again. It is a family drama with multiple perspectives set in post COVID, Lagos.
Also writing this new book was different, you know, writing a story about a time I lived. Unlike “The Parlour wife” where I had to research or imagine from the stories I was told by my grandparents, which pulled on my creative muscle.
OBIDA: Thank you!
